Stopping by Betty's yesterday it was busy as usual, so I took up residence at my B location, which is a little standing spot near the bar. I don't mind it at all, and I'll typically grab a table or stool when something opens up.
Now take a look at the photo. As you can see, nestled up right beside me was a hat. Let be more specific. A cowboy hat. When I first got there, I didn't even notice it at all. I don't wear hats. I think once in 1992 I put on a cowboy hat in a store, but that's about it.
In any event, a few minutes later a woman was walking by. She paused, looked at me, then looked at the hat, and then back to me. "Nice hat", she says.
Now a time comes in every man's life when he must make a decision. In nature, they call this phenomena fight or flight. How exactly do I handle this particular situation? Don't get me wrong. I'm married so I'm not trying to conjure up a little tryst or anything, but who am I to argue with millions of years of evolution? After all, I didn't pursue this situation -
it found me. My back is up against the wall here. Here I am innocently having a pint (waiting for my wife I might add), and it was what it was.
So just for shits and giggles, let's pretend for a second that I
was single. If this woman legitimately likes the hat, then I have to pretend it's mine because I'm already halfway through the door so to speak. So in this case I'd say something like "Thanks. It's from Texas." Of course, the downside of that is that I have to pretend I own a cowboy hat which, for me, is very embarrassing. On the other hand, if this woman is being sarcastic (and, Betty's being Betty's, this may very well be the case), I have to distance myself from the hat as quickly as possible and respond with: "What hat?" As you can see, the proximity of the hat to myself reduces the believability of this comment, but whatever - I could work that whole angle too by saying, in an Australian accent: "that's not a hat...THIS is a hat", and pulling out a bit of kleenex from my pocket.
Anyway, in the end I opted for a variation of both scenarios. "Why thank you. I just flew in from Dallas because I left it here by mistake last week." She just looked at me, confused. She wasn't sure if I was being sarcastic. Just then, the rightful owner of the hat stepped in. See, the hat's owner was siting at the bar and must've noticed that two strangers were talking about her hat. So, she intervenes and says "oh.. that's MY hat". She said it to both of us proudly. Like it was a new purchase, and she was over the moon because someone was discussing it. Then, she went on and on about where she got the hat and how it matched her cowboy boots. "See!!?", she said to us both excitedly, pointing to her shiny black cowboy boots.
You just can't make this sort of shit up.
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