They say Toronto is like a city within a park, and based on the sheer quantity of raccoons living life large in Hogtown, it stands to reason. I'm actually ok with raccoons and other creatures that live around us. After all, they were here first.
One or two summers back, I accidentally left the glass patio door open overnight, with only the screen door separating the great outdoors from the living room. Hobos aren't a problem as there's no easy way people can access the backyards in the area. But in the middle of the night, my lovely wife woke me up having heard something downstairs. I sat up, turned on the bedside light, powered up my laptop, checked Outlook calendar and noticed it wasn't December 25th, so that eliminated Santa as the interloper.
I handed my wife a golf club and dispatched her to see what the ruckus was. You know, something something equal rights. Ok ok, so I head downstairs and I see the screen door is wide open. As I reach the bottom step I hear a frantic scurrying and sure enough, a sizeable raccoon flies out the door into the night. Turning on the lights I realize it must have smelled the cat food through the screen door, and it made quick work of it, leaving an empty bowl and about a hundred random kibbles leading to the backyard.
But more recently, throughout last summer and this past winter, we've had another regular visitor - a very bold and curious squirrel. We even gave him a squirrel name: Ignatius Rothchild III. The pretentious name fits, because my wife began purchasing various types of nuts for him, making him a high-roller amongst his squirrel counterparts. In fact, after a while, I noticed Iggy would show up wearing a monacle and a tiny tuxedo.
So as the weeks and months wore on, we'd throw out some nuts for Iggy when he'd climb down from the trees and peer into the house right in front of the patio door. Tough grind for these creatures over the winter months, so we offered a little help. But, just like Puff The Magic Dragon, inevitably the day came when Iggy came no more. I suppose he moved on to greener pastures and we wished him well, and not long after that, a different squirrel started to come by frequently.
Yesterday I took advantage of the gorgeous weather to initiate a thorough clean up in the backyard. I swept up leaves, scrubbed and polished the barbecue and uncovered and washed all the patio furniture....which is when I found Iggy. Hidden away on one of the patio chairs, covered by the table itself, there he lay. And on the chair right beside it, there he lay as well.
Now you understand the meaning of this post's title.
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One or two summers back, I accidentally left the glass patio door open overnight, with only the screen door separating the great outdoors from the living room. Hobos aren't a problem as there's no easy way people can access the backyards in the area. But in the middle of the night, my lovely wife woke me up having heard something downstairs. I sat up, turned on the bedside light, powered up my laptop, checked Outlook calendar and noticed it wasn't December 25th, so that eliminated Santa as the interloper.
I handed my wife a golf club and dispatched her to see what the ruckus was. You know, something something equal rights. Ok ok, so I head downstairs and I see the screen door is wide open. As I reach the bottom step I hear a frantic scurrying and sure enough, a sizeable raccoon flies out the door into the night. Turning on the lights I realize it must have smelled the cat food through the screen door, and it made quick work of it, leaving an empty bowl and about a hundred random kibbles leading to the backyard.
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| Iggy threatening to cut me if I didn't keep feeding him. |
So as the weeks and months wore on, we'd throw out some nuts for Iggy when he'd climb down from the trees and peer into the house right in front of the patio door. Tough grind for these creatures over the winter months, so we offered a little help. But, just like Puff The Magic Dragon, inevitably the day came when Iggy came no more. I suppose he moved on to greener pastures and we wished him well, and not long after that, a different squirrel started to come by frequently.
Yesterday I took advantage of the gorgeous weather to initiate a thorough clean up in the backyard. I swept up leaves, scrubbed and polished the barbecue and uncovered and washed all the patio furniture....which is when I found Iggy. Hidden away on one of the patio chairs, covered by the table itself, there he lay. And on the chair right beside it, there he lay as well.
Now you understand the meaning of this post's title.
Poor Iggy. Sad that you had to find him like that. And like that. You can't be sure how long he was there for, so I hope for safety's sake that you cooked him to at least medium-well before eating him.
ReplyDeleteThey took his head Clefto. HIS HEAD!
ReplyDelete