October 22, 2014

Grasping At Straws

Maybe it's just me, but I get the feeling the Catholic church is worried. Very worried.

The last few years, Pope Billy Bob McGee seems to be pushing for more acceptance of homosexuals, atheists, other religious groups and even heavy-breathers. Just what the sam-fuck is really going on?

The way I see it, the Catholic church and other major religions are like any large corporation. First off, the dudes at the top are..well..dudes. Second, the Pope of Greenwich Village has to take a 30,000 foot view and look at the health of the corporation 10, 20 and 30 years down the road. They've finally had an epiphany. The reality is that religion is slowly losing it's grip on society as a whole, and that's bad for God business. After all, someone's gotta pay for those fancy robes and paedophile-related lawsuits. At least the incense they use in their rituals is cheap. I recently bought 1000 sticks for like 9 bucks in Chinatown. What a bargain!

Listen, it's just to help my migraines ok. 
So, the Church is spinning it all to tell us they're hip. Hey look - Popey McPope is tweeting out selfies dumping a bucket of ice on his head wearing a YOLO t-shirt, and rumour has it he's hosting SNL next week. Whoop whoop whoop!

Whatever man. I'm onto you.

1 comment:

  1. I wonder how much money is spent worldwide on communion juice and crackers?
    You can buy Communion-to-go cups now too! Yay tasty blood in a cup!