Strangle You I Must

It seems like every few years, there's a new batch of corporate speak that makes its way through organizations. In fact, it's just like the Ebola virus. You might think it's proprietary to the company you work for, but as different firms communicate to do business with each other, the vernacular creeps its way in like stinking dirty whorish vines on the side of your house. And yes, I fully realize the last part of that sentence might have been harsh, but that's simply what came to mind.

A number of years back, one of the most popular phrases was "think outside of the box".  After several people working in offices were inexplicably stabbed to death with Bic pens, that phrase seemed to dissipate. Recently I've heard "cascade", where some senior corporate chimp issues a directive from the top, and managers are told to "cascade this to your employees".

Well Nancy this deliverables report is good, but you forgot to include The Hot Karl you gave me

at the office Christmas party last year.  

But over the last couple of years, there's one phrase in particular I've been hearing, and it's time for it to die. It's "reach out", as in "I'll reach out to ABC company to discuss marketing initiatives."  I never liked the term from the get go, and the person issuing it was fabulously talented at other nebulous corporate speak, so I was suspicious about it permeating and spreading. I'd attend meeting after meeting and each time it was uttered, it was like a tiny tiny needle sticking into the back of my neck. Not enough to draw blood, but an irritant nonetheless.

Having said that, who am I to tell people what they can or cannot say? If I was Hitler, a James Bond Villain or even one of those bad guys on Scooby Doo who only dress up as a ghost, I guess then I could dictate what people can say. But until that day comes, free fucking Willy. Say what you like, but do so at your own peril. Because after awhile, corporate speak can sometimes illustrate something very interesting. It says that you've heard it on some Zig Zigler motivational cassette, or read it on a smart ass T shirt purchased on Queen West, and sadly, you end up sounding rather vacuous.

But, at the end of the day, let the chips fall where they may, que sera sera and it is what it is...