I love this country. I love my parents for bringing me to this country. They're immigrants from Northern Ireland, and they had a choice of Australia or Canada when they wanted to get away from "the troubles" of that region in the late 60's. I feel the Australian accent is perhaps one of the worst on the planet, only to be outdone by the Scottish accent, so I'm glad I have neither.
But I hate, hate the cold in this country, and at some point I'll likely need to get the sam-fuck out of here. More than anything though, I hate that it can sometimes have control over me. I don't like anything or anyone having control over me.
On weekends I always go out to do something. Always. Whether it's going for a walk, a bike ride or just over to Crappy Tire, I like to get out on the weekend. But this Saturday, I didn't. The weather won, and it pissed me off.
So, the carmudgeon factor has been high over the last few days. I know it's only temporary and it will surely pass, but I know it's creeped into the work week too. Today, coming into work in a balmy minus 25, I heard someone around the office singing happy birthday to someone else, and I wanted to throw a stapler at her. Worse, she's the type of person who doesn't stop at the first verse. She thinks it's funny and creative if she goes on and on.
But ok, maybe throwing a stapler is a bit much. A live eel will do just fine.
But I hate, hate the cold in this country, and at some point I'll likely need to get the sam-fuck out of here. More than anything though, I hate that it can sometimes have control over me. I don't like anything or anyone having control over me.
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| Nah. I prefer Toronto in January. |
On weekends I always go out to do something. Always. Whether it's going for a walk, a bike ride or just over to Crappy Tire, I like to get out on the weekend. But this Saturday, I didn't. The weather won, and it pissed me off.
So, the carmudgeon factor has been high over the last few days. I know it's only temporary and it will surely pass, but I know it's creeped into the work week too. Today, coming into work in a balmy minus 25, I heard someone around the office singing happy birthday to someone else, and I wanted to throw a stapler at her. Worse, she's the type of person who doesn't stop at the first verse. She thinks it's funny and creative if she goes on and on.
But ok, maybe throwing a stapler is a bit much. A live eel will do just fine.
You dirty mick. You've got me mad as a cut snake at sparrow's fart.
ReplyDeleteOh that's right Blin, I forgot - you're one of those fellas who bugger wallabies in the outback where they filmed Mad Max, and like other good Aussies you have a Kim Jong Un-like portrait of Paul Hogan in your living room and listen to nothing but Men At Work while slathering vegemite on your junk. As such, I'm sorry about offending you with my comment.
ReplyDeleteOK then. How about an Australia episode of Homo Goblin radio?
DeleteWhoops. I mean Hobo Gauntlet. Damn spellcheck!
DeleteThere should be a strict "No Singing Happy Birthday" rule in the workplace. Same goes with saying "happy monday" or "happy tuesday" or any use of the word happy followed by a day of the week. I guess i really don't like the word happy. I'm not very fun to be around. I might move to Australia.
ReplyDeleteSimilarly Clefto, I intentionally take the first day back from the christmas holidays off work so I can miss the peppering of "how was your christmas?", "how was your new year's?". I guess I just don't really like any form of small talk when I first get back to work. I'm guessing this is because I'm in the stupid office..talking to some stupid shmuck. Instead I'd rather be talking to Pedro, ordering another round at the Caribbean resort swim up bar.
ReplyDelete"I feel the Australian accent is perhaps one of the worst on the planet, only to be outdone by the Scottish accent, so I'm glad I have neither."
ReplyDeleteYou've made a powerful enemy today
Millson - I offend all equally. If it's any consolation, a heavy southern irish accent is also on that list. I overheard some guys chatting in a pub the other day and I could have sworn there were three leprechauns behind me.
ReplyDelete