Shank Bait

By now you're probably familiar with the term "clickbait".  These are essentially paid online ads that look like standard editorial articles, usually appearing at the bottom of 'net versions of newsapers and magazines. Some people inherently trust these since they appear on so-called reputable publications. As a result you're often tempted to click, given lucrative titles like "top 10 botched pet plastic surgeries" or "celebrities who eat play doh".

Recently I came across some bait myself, but not the online variety. 

Waiting for a streetcar the other day, all was relatively calm when all of the sudden all I heard was a blast of shrill children's christian music. Everyone around jumped, and looking behind me towards the sound, I see what I'm dealing with. Yes friends, it's yet another douchebag du jour.

I'm embarrassed we're from the same continent.

The dude is about 25 and he's got wires sticking out from his coat, which clearly are feeding into sizeable pocket speakers of some type. Either that or he's got a bomb. On his baseball cap in a gigantic font is the text JESUS SAVES. On his sweatshirt is some other ostentatious religious rhetoric. As the four or five people standing around look at him, he just glances back with a look in his eyes that tells you he knows exactly what he's doing.  But as people start to look away, I do not, and my cut eye lingers just long enough for this ass clown to notice.

Fast forward a few minutes to the arrival of the streetcar. The crowd approaches the front door and strategically, he shuts off the music. He then proceeds to put up his arm to hold the men back in a phony-ass attempt to suggest he's a nice fella - you know, doing God's work and controlling the crowd to allow women on the streetcar first. With this I give him another look, and he knows for sure now I'm onto him. Of course, by this point my irish blood is getting up, and fast. But, I make a split second decision  to let it go. Be the leaf in the stream, I try to tell myself. Be the leaf in the stream.

Onto the vehicle everyone gets. He and most others move towards the back, but I do not, as I sense what's coming next - I need to pro actively remove myself from this fool's perimeter. As I pay my fare, I say to the driver that he needs to stay alert as this guy may be trouble. Promptly ignored, I stand near the front and keep to myself. You can probably guess what comes next.

Now in a contained environment, the music is turned back on and the entire population of that streetcar flinches, startled. People start moving away from him - they too sense he's an asshole, and as they do, he says "sorry maam that you are not a fan of jesus's music".  I'll go on record to say that Jesus' taste in music is awful, because this horrific cacophany was nothing but a high-pitched chorus of kids singing trite verses about playing in God's land of love and plenty at a very high volume, in a shared, public environment. And by the way, let's be clear. People are free to believe in whatever the hell they want - that's their perogative. But, using religion as a thinly-veiled shield to be a dickhead is a different thing altogether.

So, the aural assault goes on. I continue to take the high road and don't confront the guy, because that's exactly what he wants. I turn to the driver and ask him if he is going to call the cops to deal with this. He just looks at me, and then looks away.

I believe in karma as much as I believe in unicorns, but if it does exist it needs to step up and give this gentleman a wake up call. Otherwise, sooner or later someone in the flesh and blood surely will, and it could get very ugly.